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2014 New Year's fireworks on the Burj Khalifa, Dhubai.

2014 New Year’s fireworks on the Burj Khalifa, Dhubai.

1. You do not know when you will die.

2. It will be sooner than you expect.

3. There will be things you wish you had done.

4. Not fearing death makes you more alive.

5. You will fail in life. Try again. Don’t give up.

6. Don’t fear failure. Instead, fear not trying.

7. Happiness is a balance of striving for new and being content with now. Do both.

8. True friends are one of the most important things.

9. Understand what you can control and control it vigorously. Let the rest go.

10. Plan for later but live for now

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By Tom Demerly.

Photo Credit: Collin Rodefer via Viral Nova.

Photo Credit: Collin Rodefer via Viral Nova.

The year I was born, 1961, journalist John Howard Griffin disguised himself as an African-American man riding buses through the segregated south. He chronicled the racism, discrimination and bigotry he experienced in the masterwork, Black Like Me.

Fast-forward 51 years and our country has made significant progress in all areas of equality.

Mostly.

I’m a 52-year old Caucasian male. Several months ago I left a good full time job as a writer in California to assist in a business a friend opened. Before the new business became fully operational my plan was to get another full time job in retail management, writing or other field I’ve had success in. I have a college education, a good work history and a strong resume in two different industries.

I filled out over 100 online applications that asked my name and other basic information. The questions included, as an “option”, my age. Most also asked me if I would answer optional questions about race and ethnic origin. I always did. I figured the more complete my application, the better my chances.

I got one interview. They weren’t interested.

In reviewing my experience, qualifications and accomplishments and also counting the demographic of the staff in a few of the businesses I was applying for I realized something. I am now a member of a new undesirable demographic, the white, middle-aged male.

My experience does not compare to the brutal racism and discrimination of African-Americans in the Deep South during the 1960’s. It does not. I have never been refused service in a restaurant, relegated to poor seating on public transportation or threatened with lynching.

Quite the opposite in fact. Because I am a well-spoken white middle-aged man everyone assumes I am well off. I get good seats in restaurants; great service and young people treat me with respect. They assume when they see me that I own a car, a house, have a good job. They pre-judge that. I have none of those things.

What I do have is a new appreciation for the type of silent, antiseptic discrimination afforded by online job applications and data-sorting algorithms. They compare key words and “optional” responses to a predetermined desirable profile of the best hire. Regardless of my experience, results, qualifications or talent my key words may not match their key words. So, in a competitive job search something in my key words on an automated job application is kicking my applications out.

Something. I wonder what that is…

I now have the slightest notion of what being discriminated against may be like. I don’t pretend to understand the full gravity of discrimination in our historical context. But, I couldn’t help but reflect on the Nelson Mandela quote, “For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

If we claim to have made progress against discrimination in the United States then any mechanism that facilitates it based on age, race, national origin or ethnicity is wrong. That an online job application can even query this data as an “option” is wrong.

If we’re going to rest on the laurels of reduced racism and improved equality it means we favor no one, exclude no one, either in person or through an antiseptic, automated system. I don’t think we’re there yet. That means we need to improve our standards of equality in all areas, including job searches and candidate screening.

Until we do, we’re simply trading one version of discrimination for another.

By Tom Demerly.ap_twinkies_comeback_jt_130623_wgOwn it.

Before you can change it, you have to own it. Owning your failures is the first part in not repeating them. Understand that owning your failures may be different from fixing them. Some failures can’t be fixed, they can only be owned. The difference is taking a hard look in the mirror and understanding what you did to fail in the first place so you never repeat it. Making excuses and blaming others doesn’t work.

Dissect it.

Once you own your failure you can examine it in a forensic manner. What did you do wrong? Hindsight is 20/20. A detailed accounting of what got you into failure is the second step in climbing out of it and, most importantly, avoiding it again.

One warning: Avoid the paralysis of analysis. Once you dissect your failure and own it you must have control over it. It can’t own you through fear. The perspective of friends and associates can help with this. Understand what things are inside your “sphere of influence” (Stephen R. Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People) and what lies outside it. Control what you can control and let the rest go.

Get to Work.

There is only one way back from failure: Hard work. This means work without pay, work without sleep, work without adequate food, work without convenient transportation and work without the things that make work easy. It’s just ditch digging. You may need to work in an austere environment and not make excuses while doing it. Accept that. In fact, embrace it. This is the filter through which you must pass to achieve success again and the reason why few people do. They simply aren’t tough enough.

No excuses, no shortcuts. Hard work, measured risk and good decisions led to the only American to ever win the Tour de France, Greg LeMond's, spectacular victory in 1989.

No excuses, no shortcuts. Hard work, measured risk and good decisions led to the only American to ever win the Tour de France, Greg LeMond’s, spectacular victory in 1989.

Except in dire need (such as feeding children), avoid government social programs to assist you. They are time consuming to apply for and laden with bureaucracy. You are better served working a minimum wage job. This is part of the axiom in any survival situation that following the crowd will make you a refuge. Refuges don’t have control of their future. They are victims. The real danger of reliance on social programs is that once you get on them it could be hard to get off.

Don’t Compare Your Situation to Others.

When you own your situation you don’t look at other people and feel sorry for yourself. Instead, you celebrate the successes of others and take inspiration and hope from them. They are a source of strength. Be focused on your own life and goals. Don’t permit distractions. Maintain a “glass half full” mentality that author Stephen Covey called the “abundance mentality”.

Network.

While it’s tempting to crawl into a hole and hide when you fail, resist that temptation. Instead, show others how proactive and vigorous you are. Instead of just asking for help, ask to help them. You always have something to offer even if it is shoveling snow or listening to someone’s problems. Helping others boosts your self worth and keeps you positive. Remember that no job is beneath you. Even if you were the owner of a million dollar company and you land a job cleaning toilets treat those toilets as your business and a reflection of yourself. Make them the cleanest, best toilets you know how and find ways to improve on that. Always strive. Never settle.

By Tom Demerly.

christmasshopping

Here we go; Holiday Shopping Season. Black Friday, Cyber Monday. This is the 25-day period when retailers earn their net profit for the year and consumers do most of their buying.

Before the gun goes off this Thursday at midnight (and even before) let’s take a brief look at what customers should demand in the post-recession economy.

There are more retailers and fewer customers than any time since the early 1980’s according to industry expert Mark Ellwood, author of Bargain Fever; How to Shop in a Discounted World. That means you have more choices and retailers have to get it right.  The margin for error- literally and figuratively- is razor thin. A well-run retailer is doing well to earn 1% net profit on gross sales after all expenses at the end of the year. Also, this year, the holiday shopping season is unusually short, only 25 days, because of Thanksgiving’s proximity to Christmas on the calendar.

Stores, both online and brick and mortar, have two major tools to earn sales: Great customer service and lowest price. A wide spectrum exists between these extremes and some especially skilled retailers manage to combine the two. Whether you aspire to the Tiffany’s personal shopping experience or a Walmart elbow-throwing, door-busting footrace to the big screen aisle these are the minimum standards you should expect as a customer:

1.    You should be treated as a Lady or Gentlemen.

You’re giving away hard-earned money at the end of the worst recession in history. You’re not a number, not a commodity. You’re not easily replaceable. Life long retailer and founder of the quirky, niche specialty retailer Harry’s Army Surplus in Dearborn, Michigan, Irv Zeltzer, said it best, “Every dollar has 100 cents”.  To earn that precious 100 cents retailers should treat you with respect and reverence. Retailers should value you.

2.    You Deserve to be Waited On.

Remember when clerks waited on you? Good service means there are employees or well-designed online resources to find out information and help you with buying decisions. This is a key feature since it adds value and savings to a purchase by reducing costly errors and returns. Your time is tangibly valuable. A sales associate or web resource that helps you make a faster, wiser purchase saves you time, and time is money.  Smart retailers also know good customer service reduces returns and adds to sales and profits.

3.    You Deserve Honesty and Openness in Pricing.

There are a lot of pricing shenanigans this time of year, triple and quadruple mark-downs, fine print, weird return policies, coupons, membership buying. Straightforward pricing is a key tool to understanding the value of a purchase. Beware of convoluted pricing schemes. Remember, the time it takes you to figure out if a deal is any good just cost you something more valuable than money; it cost you your time.

4.    You Deserve Good Service After the Sale.

Retailers should do “back end” planning for their post-holiday returns and customer service. The staff should know the policies and be empowered to make decisions. Lines shouldn’t be long and waits to make returns should be short. Retailers have a great opportunity to retain customers and earn new ones with great service after the sale. They need to get this right. It will bring in customers during the other 345 days of the year.

Customers fall into a trap of using price as the measurement of quality in a retail transaction. Good value is about more than markdowns and low prices. If you are focused on what you deserve as a customer before you line up on Friday morning you’ll have a better shopping experience this season.